Monday, 6 November 2017 / Northern Ireland, UK

I Am My Own Worst Enemy


For the longest time I had tunnel vision; but it's come to my attention recently that in-fact, I am my own worst enemy. When I left High School I surrendered my dreams to feel a sense of comfort, because I wasn't sure who I was yet or who I wanted to be - I was a naive sixteen year old girl, who had lost all sense of direction and instead of going on to study what I had initially wanted to; ended up doing what everyone else expected me to. I spent years crafting limiting beliefs and shielding myself from happiness by refusing to put myself out there and as a result wondered why my life was so miserable.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure it's something most of us have experienced - we've all caused problems for ourselves at some point and made things more difficult than they probably should have been, because we're human and we're a little bit silly at times. But it's when I sit down now as an adult and look at the successes of my fellow students that I have come to realize just how much I've been blocking myself this entire time and how it is my attitude and my focus that has been detrimental to my own development and progress both in my career and personal life thus far.

Like most people I would assume; I do question myself. Am I doing well? Am I going anywhere? Is this where I need to be right now? I mean, I didn't go to University when I probably should have and I didn't go travelling this summer but everyone else did and that's part of the problem. I focus more on what everyone around me is achieving and doing in their spare time that I almost forget to pat myself on the back for the things I've been doing myself.

That's how I've come to realize that I am my own worst enemy. Instead of driving my own success by pushing myself, I've been questioning whether I'm good enough. I've been comparing my life to the life of others and I know I shouldn't be - I should be doing what makes me happy, what makes me feel successful.

I really need to come to terms with my own self-worth and realize that in-fact I am at the root of my own issues. I can't expect to sit back and wait for life to set the pace, if I want to be successful I need to work harder for it - whether that's in the gym or simply with my blog. I need to stop basing my life of everyone else's because this isn't a race - it's a marathon and although we're all on different roads, we only get one chance at it, so we might as well enjoy it when we're here.
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2 comments

  1. Fab post, I read it the other day and it has been in my head since!

    I totally get what you mean. "Is this where I need to be right now?" The amount of times I ask myself that very question! I feel like I stall myself with self doubt sometimes. It's such a difficult mindset to get out of, but recognising it and moving forward with a positive attitude is definitely a good starting point :)

    PS, great to connect with a fellow NI blogger!

    Kaity
    www.kaityhall.com

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Kaity, I'm really glad it's resonated with you.

      I think we could all use a lesson on self-doubt and how we should be dealing with it. I mean... I doubt myself over silly little things but I do agree with you; recognizing it and moving forward with a positive attitude are just the first steps.

      Fellow NI Bloggers are hard to come by, don't be afraid to send me a message x

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